Have you ever heard anyone say that being a headteacher is a lonely job? It was the first thing I was told when I started my NPQH; that and ‘you can only do the job if you truly know how to delegate’.
When I sat down to think about writing this piece I decided that I fully agree with the second comment but only occasionally with the first. The ‘occasions’ tend to be when dealing with the often sensitive issues that arise around human resources; you would need to be particularly cold hearted not to feel the isolation that comes from being the only person that can have THAT conversation. The other time is when needing to make the type of decision that is for the greater good of the many but may not be convenient/logical to the few.
Can you remember the board game from the 80s called ‘Scruples’? Be honest, I know that some of you are that old! Well that best sums up what being a headteacher is like at times. Moral dilemmas are always going to be challenging when the job has such a defined moral component.
I wouldn’t for one second attempt to compare being a headteacher to being a political leader on most things but there are times when I know I cannot please everyone with a decision no matter which way I go. These aren’t always big things. Just this week I received a rather irate email from a parent saying we hadn’t given enough notice for our ‘wear it pink’ day so her young person was left out. We used to give over a week’s notice of these events but after receiving a few emails saying that we needed to tell parents a bit closer to the date or they forget, we decided to send letters on the Monday before the event on Friday. Wrong! Sheessshhh! What am I supposed to do now (rhetorical question as I have worked out what to do next)? I know it’s a small thing but it does make me feel a little exasperated.
Now imagine the decision is about an exclusion or a curriculum change that will lessen the number of teachers required to teach a subject or, in our crazy new world, performance related pay.
The exclusion ones are always the most difficult to make. Excluding a young person means she is not going to make the academic progress she needs for her future; but not doing it might not support other young people or staff. Whatever decision is made it goes against the moral purpose of the job for at least one group of people. I tend to know that we have reached that point when I look at my colleagues and I can see that I have lost the support of all of them.
This type of dilemma still takes its toll even after having been doing the job for a few years and I’m actually quite pleased about that. I’m not certain that I want to be the kind of human that can make these decisions without at least a small amount of guilt and a fair helping of anxiety. It doesn’t feel nice – however, as my senior leadership team seem to take it in turns to tell me, that’s why I am paid my salary, so chin up!
I think I am quite good at finding the right box in my brain to put things in so they don’t haunt me and I have learned how to rationalise my feelings when the moments of isolation occur. I know, you see, that I became a headteacher for the right reasons. I strive every day to help the people around me fulfil their potential, whether they are an adult or a young person. That means that we sometimes have to take a step back in order to make three forward.
I know that I have a senior leadership team around me that I trust 100% and if I find the nearest member and talk through a decision, he or she will give me honest feedback – and also accept my rationale for making a different choice from the one he or she would favour. I think, if I can’t justify my actions to a friend what chance have I got convincing someone who is less than well-disposed towards me in the first place? We also mustn’t forget the role that governors have to play in supporting as well as challenging the headteacher. Their ability to help make decisions without being clouded by the latest edu-politics is one that shouldn’t be underestimated.
I can sleep at night if I know that any decision I make is done with the intention of serving the young people of my community as best I can. It doesn’t need to be popular – it just has to come from within the boundaries in which I choose to live my professional life. My priority is to serve my whole community and this is done by helping my colleagues and our students to do the best job that they can through creating an environment of appropriate challenge and support for everyone.
